Worrying about the three year old

I write a lot on here about Baby’s sleeping, eating etc. But in actual fact it’s his brother who his daddy and I spend most time worrying about. I guess with Baby we have been here before. And whilst I am concerned to ensure he is ok it’s all fairly straightforward. With Bub, who is three, we feel much more uncertain. This is the uncharted territory for us that occupies much more of our thoughts and discussions.

For example Bub is regularly getting hurt at nursery. In particular he is getting bitten. However he is super reluctant to talk about it and never tells the ladies there. We don’t know if this is just part of the rough and tumble of boys play or something more targeted. Is he always the one hurt or bitten? The one who is always chased when they play monsters? We just don’t know and Bub can’t or won’t tell us. I know he likes his friends as he tells us so and is keen to see them. And in the past he’s had his own issues with pushing and hitting. But I hate the idea of him putting up with mean behaviour just to be someone’s friend. The other day he even said “I like bites” in response to questions about where the latest mark came from.

Bub has definitely changed since moving up to the 3-5 year olds room at nursery. He used to be very much the leader when with the two year olds. But now he is meek and a definite follower. This could be a natural personality change which arises from greater social awareness. Or perhaps a temporary thing stemming from his poor language skills compared to his peers. I just hope it’s not because he is having a really tough time and his natural tendencies are being squashed.

His move to the bigger age group happened at the same time as his brother was born which probably hasn’t helped. My hope is that come September all the very big kids will go to school. Bub will no longer be one if the littlest and hopefully he’ll be more confident and secure.

Would welcome any thoughts from readers. What can we do to help our little boy feel secure and happy? How can we encourage him to tell us what is going on?

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