Learning to leave


I imagine that in future years I’ll look back on these times very fondly. Particularly next year when I return to work and Bub’s daddy is his main carer. But at the moment I’m not really able to leave him for more than about half an hour. It’s very sad and a challenge for us all.

We’re trying to help Bub get used to being cared for by his daddy sometimes. And to give me a bit of a much needed break. Today I went to a ‘proper’ yoga class and absolutely loved it. I’ve missed it loads. However Bub got really upset when he got tired and hungry and it was pretty rough on both him and his daddy.

Bub has never been happy taking expressed milk in a bottle. We’ve experimented quite a bit and tried different teats, sippy and doidy cups. So it was always pretty tough to leave him. However he’s also recently developed a strong feeding to sleep (well, drowsy) association. This makes it really tough for his daddy to either feed him or get him to sleep. Bub loves being with his daddy but at the moment he’s not really able to feed him or help him sleep and so he gets really distressed if he gets tired or hungry.

One ray of light though. Apparently today he did take some milk from his bottle. The secret – he wanted to be in charge! Once he was allowed to take the bottle and guide it in he was quite content to drink. Makes me quite proud of his independent streak!

Any advice out there on how we can help Bub learn to sleep without needing his mummy there? Is it all just a matter of time or is there anything we can try?

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One Response to “Learning to leave”

  1. baj4life Says:

    I don’t think I can offer any specific advice. My son still prefers to nurse to sleep. I did find that around 6 months was when I could leave for longer periods of time (1-2 hours) without having to leave milk for him. Also, around 6 months is when his sleep routine changed and he had a big growth spurt.

    Also, leaving him with his dad alone was a bit of a learning process too. I think the secondary caregiver often has to find their own rhythm and way of soothing the baby.

    Perhaps you could try leaving something (like a shirt) with your smell on it that your son can cuddle with while his daddy tries to soothe him to sleep.

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