Ice lolly cuteness

It’s been a hot few days and we’ve really been enjoying the sunshine. Bub’s been racing round the garden completely naked and jumping in and out of the paddling pool. He’s also been enjoying a new delight – ice lollies!

Potty training – a beginning

The hot weather has given us a chance to let Bub run around naked outside. It’s also marked a small beginning for our potty training.

Despite being 28 months Bub hasn’t really been showing any signs of readiness for potty training. He can’t speak much and has never previously said anything about being about to go or having done so. I think like many boy toddlers he’s pretty indifferent to it.

Coincidentally I’ve just looked back through this blog and it was a year ago today I first wrote wondering if I was behind the curve by not yet considering potty training. This was because Bub’s girl cousin of the same age was already getting started. She’s now fully trained, day and night. But all kids are different and I honestly don’t think he’d have been any more ready even if we’d tried to force the issue.

Having him run about naked has helped increase his awareness of when he’s going, or is about to go. We have a new laminate floor and he’s managed to wee on it about four times. The last time he did look down about two seconds before he went and said ‘oh no!’. Not great he’s weeing on the new floor but at least it’s not carpet! And at least he’s showing increased awareness.

He’s also started to pooh in the evening around bath time again. If I ask him if he needs to go (when I spot the very obvious signs) he will happily sit on the toilet and try to go. Though until a few days ago he found going in the bath much funnier than using the toilet. He’d actively try to pooh in the bath rather than toilet. But two days ago we used that age old potty training device – the bribe. We told him he’d get a special treat if he did a pooh in the toilet. And what do you know, he’s done four bath time poohs in the toilet since then. Reward was a spray of this dreadful sweet mixture called mega mouth which he totally loves.

It’s still very early days and he’s a long way off doing this properly. But we’ve now had several toilet poohs and at least a sign he has some awareness he’s about to do a wee. And a successful bribery method. Result!

Breastfeeding – backlashes and anti-backlashes

From the vantage point of having a 28 month old, and having stopped breastfeeding when he was 9 months old, I guess I am probably a bit forgetful about the experience. I do know that I am very positive about breastfeeding, if it works for you. But I also saw many friends, committed mothers all, struggle with it. The anguish they suffered at not being able to do something they really, really wanted to was very moving. Much of what they felt was guilt. And it’s this guilt inducing aspect that puts me off much of the pro-breastfeeding messages I hear.

I completely appreciate that breastfeeding is good for babies. And can be cuddly, gorgeous and convenient (when working well) for mums too. I also know that so much of our cultural and societal pressures are against breastfeeding. It’s important that there is a positive pro-breastfeeding voice. But this does sometimes feel quite zealous and unbending and not very practical for the pressures mums face.

Would I breastfeed again should I have another little one? Almost definitely I intend to try. Would I breastfeed exclusively for six months and continue to do almost all other feeds, including all night feeds, for three months beyond that? Probably not. I found the first year with Bub delightful in many ways (including the joys of breastfeeding him.) But I also exhausted myself in a way I’d never have imagined beforehand. I found it almost impossible to ask for or accept help. And part (only part) of this was down to my zeal about exclusively breastfeeding him. I am not sure I can, or want, to put myself through that again. And this probably means being ok with a mixed feeding approach much earlier. And ok with myself for doing so.

This post was inspired by this article on breastfeeding by Zoe Williams in the Guardian. I used to love to read her tales of life with her baby whilst I was TTC. I find it refreshing to read something that tries to step above the ‘definitely, unbendingly pro’ or ‘definitely, unbendingly anti’ viewpoints.

A number of commentators have said that, in fact, the right to breastfeed was a victory for feminism, in wresting the care of their babies from a professional, medicalised elite. Others have conceded that the struggle for perfection and unanimity in any direction – towards breastfeeding or away from it – is necessarily bad for women, removing their personal agency.

This is the nub of the issue for me I think. It’s great that breastfeeding has been championed and is a real choice for many women. But the perfectionism that is present in some (only some) attachment parenting approaches can make already challenging situations impossible and lead to inevitable feelings of guilt.

In terms of the perceived benefits for the child I found it very interesting that Zoe Williams highlights meta studies on breastfeeding that show that:

“Breastfeeding cannot be distinguished from the decision to breastfeed, which could represent a more comprehensive commitment to healthy living.” It’s a self-selecting sample, a phrase that is a foreign language in the world of early-years intervention.

What do you think about the nature of the debate on breastfeeding? Do issues of guilt about our choices or perceived failings affect our ability to consider the issue? Or do we need a strong and unbendingly pro breastfeeding message to break through societal pressures against?

Loving Instagram

Been really getting into Instagram since I got my new iPhone. Such fun.

Do you use Instagram? Any hints and tips for a newbie? How come some people have so many followers? Feel free to let me know your username to share your pictures too.

On balancing out

Really liked this post from Existere today in which she talks about her feelings about being a stay at home mum to toddler twins.

I’m not a SAHM but work full time. However much of what she said struck a chord with me.

“The battle for me is: how do I give my children the best AND honour myself? Right now that seems like a seesaw. For every thing I want to give them, it means less that I can give myself. And much of what I want to do in raising creative, brave explorers of this world seems to negate me being able to have these things for myself. I tell myself it’ll get easier as they get older.”

I love my little Bub to bits and enjoy being with him. But I also enjoy not being with him too. (That feels like a very bad mother thing to say!) It’s hard to find any time or energy to do anything that isn’t for my work or for Bub. But I really do notice when I don’t get this chance to rest and recuperate. My mood sinks and I become a grumpy old mare.

Many friends are starting to have second children and this is pretty scary. We have moved to a stage where there is a bit of time for all in the family to have some space for themselves. It does worry me to think of losing it again.

It was love at first sight

Bub is not big on cuddles and hugs. Particularly for toys. His poor baby doll never gets any attention whatsoever. And our attempts to give him a lovey to help him sleep went down like a lead balloon. Teddies and soft toys are completely ignored.

That was until we went shopping yesterday and met Peppa Pig. It was love at first sight.

In the shopping trolley…



In the car…



At home…

I think it’s love.

Capturing a Lotte of the moment

I find this video quite moving. Strangely as I’m a cynical old goat most of the time. It’s got a lot of press and viral coverage in the last few days.

Reminds me of how quickly my little one is growing up. He’s 27 months today. Maybe this blog is in part an effort to capture some of him as a little baby and boy before it’s all gone for good.

Badly behaved boy

Something happens to my Bub in the presence of other toddlers. He goes from being a mainly charming and sweet little boy into a bullying tyrant. Recently he’s started being really physical and he pushes and hits other kids sometimes. He uses his body to push them aside if they are in his way. And also pushes and hits for pure amusement too I think.

We try to stop him, tell him no, take him aside, even take him entirely away from the situation. But after a telling off it sometimes feels like he is even more single minded about doing it again.

I’m really hoping this is a brief phase. I hope as his language skills develop he’ll find other ways to interact with others. It’s horrible to be out and about worrying about his behaviour and having to prevent him upsetting other kids.

I’m really in need of a good book or website on discipline and boundary setting for toddlers. Any suggestions?

Teething is so, like, over!

Found out the other day that the total number of milk teeth is twenty. Managed to persuade Bub to open his mouth long enough to count his and he has all twenty

Hurray! At least now when he wakes at night and points his finger to his mouth I’ll know he’s trying it on rather than just suspecting it. No more late night ministerings of Calpol “just in case”.

Here’s Bub, showing off his full set.

Tag

Oooh, exciting

I’ve been tagged in a blogging meme by Team Cleo and asked to answer her questions. Never done this before but sounds like fun so here goes…

The rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions.

3. Create 11 new questions.

4. Tag 11 people with the post.

5. Let them know you tagged them.

My answers

1. How many children do you have?
One – little boy Bub asked 26 months.

2. Do you want to have more? If yes, how many more?
Another one hopefully. Don’t think I could cope with any more!

3. Where do you usually bring your child/children to on weekends?
Soft play
And sometimes swimming and visiting relatives too.

4. Does your baby soothe himself/herself to sleep, ever? If yes, how did you achieve that?
Yes, he does now. But for the first ten months at least he didn’t and it was a bit of a nightmare. Think I wasn’t helping though in my desperate efforts to get him to sleep. It was his daddy who cracked it in the end (find out how here.)

5. In your opinion, does your toddler have far too many bumps on the head?
No. I try not to be too much of a helicopter parent about this, though others may disagree. Obviously I don’t want him to really hurt himself but I also don’t want to wrap him in cotton wool.

6. What is your children’s favourite indoor game/activity?
At the moment it’s jigsaw puzzles. He absolutely loves them.

7. Are you happy being a staying at home parent / working parent?
I’m a working parent and the main earner in the house. This does stress me out a bit and I’d love to be able to go part time. But on the plus side it means Bub gets to spend lots of time with his Dad and I enjoy my job so can’t complain.

8. Do you have pets?
A cat, called Mia. We used to have three chickens who were a lot of work and very noisy. I sometimes wish we still had them as I reckon Bub would have loved them.

9. How often do you ‘get out and play’ with the whole family in a week?
About once a week. Most of the time Bub is with either his mummy or daddy, not usually us both.

10. Do you cook?
Yes. Unfortunately Bub’s stay at home dad has yet to appreciate the need to have my dinner on the table when I get back from the office

11. Who is your child’s favourite cartoon character / band (e.g. the Wiggles, Sesame Street, etc)?
His favourite tv show at the moment is definitely Mister Maker on CBeebies.

My tags

I’ve now got to tag some fellow bloggers. Here are some of those I enjoy reading. You don’t have to continue the chain I’m just doing this for fun and would like to know your answers to my questions.

mama.ie
Tinyheartbeat
Ephemeral Digest
Existere
Navelgazing
Proper Fud
I’m so fancy
Chronicles of Conception
KitschyCoo
AmbitiousMamas
Planning with kids

My questions

1. Do you consider yourself a yummy mummy?
2. Why did you start blogging? And do you still do it for the same reason?
3. What’s your biggest vice?
4. What is your claim to fame?
5. What do you miss most about your pre-kids days?
6. Where in the world would you live if you had the choice?
7. How many tattoos do you have?
8. What time did you get up this morning?
9. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
10. What did you want to be when you were little?
11. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?